Do you rip a bandaid off or do you slowly peel it off? One gives a sharp searing pain that burns on the surface, though it generally will go away quickly and leaves just the memory of the moment. The other typically hurts less but is drawn out over a longer time and may leave lingering pain.
Which do you do?
I’ve only got a few more days left in Vancouver and so I’ve been saying a lot of good-byes. And good-byes are hard to do.
It is like ripping off a bandaid because each time I walk away from another group, from another good-bye, it hurts deeply.
And I’ve been doing it over and over again in the past few weeks so it’s like pulling it off slowly over and over and over again, drawing out the pain over a longer time rather than just once.
Tomorrow is the last hoop I have to jump through before I can leave and then… then I will have my final good-bye to this city. The difficult part is that I am not holding the hoop and so it’s outside of my control whether or not I’ll be successful in jumping through it. I am grateful to all of you out there who are holding me and my family in prayers and hope and faith that this will work out for all of us. I know in my heart of hearts that it will. It is just stressing me out in the meantime!
Today has been a day of tears and emotions as I said good-bye to my church family. (And man, that minister just HAD to give a message with a theme of Road Trips eh? And close with “Til We Meet Again”!? Thanks Rev. Scott! It got my tears rolling.)
I looked around that sanctuary at all the faces in the congregation that I know and have grown to love over my past 10 years attending. I thought of the faces that are no longer sitting among us as they have passed on or moved on themselves to new situations or church communities. I listened to the beautiful pianist playing her beautiful music and her wonderful voice ringing out strong and clear. I looked at the symbols of our church and felt such warmth and community and love. I listened the message in the sermon, that I am not alone on this journey, that we ARE on a journey and have not yet reached our destination, and I felt comforted and surrounded by love and family. And I am grateful for the home that I found there and know that I will always have it with me, no matter where I travel in life. Thank you Northwood. And thank you to the women I have met and found communion with. Thank you.
Tears are therapeutic and cleansing. They are helping me move on and out. They are helping me clean my soul. I saw this little meme the other day on Facebook and it spoke to me and seems appropriate to share here:
It is okay to cry when bandaids are being ripped off, or even after they have been removed. It is okay to cry in moments of deep emotions and sorrow.
It is okay for me to cry as I say good-bye.